


Rips and Tears

by RaeTheStar



Series: Hermitcraft Oneshots [23]
Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: Gen, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 20:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20747924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeTheStar/pseuds/RaeTheStar
Summary: Tango has found himself in a sticky situation. Good thing Stress is such a helpful friend!





	Rips and Tears

"Wait up, Stress!" Tango soared after Stress, laughing.

"Keep up, ya geezer!" She sparked another rocket, turning sharply around her castle spires.

Tango pinned his arms to his sides, streamlining as he shot after her. As he rounded the corner, his stomach lurched and he halted abruptly. Dangling precariously from a spire, Tango cried desperately. "Stress! Your castle kidnapped me!"

Stress rounded the corner again, giggling at the sight of Tango, hanging by his pants from the castle. "Need some help?"

"Yes please!" He laughed.

Stress carefully landed on the tower and assessed the situation. "I'm not sure I can pull you up..."

"I don't wanna be stuck here forever! Do something!"

"Okay, but I'm not sure you'll like it!" Stress laughed. She silently drew her sword, sunlight reflecting off it. She raised it high, and brought it down with a slash.

"AAAAAAAA-!"

Tango fell halfway down the castle wall before he could open his elytra, soaring into a first-floor window, where Stress ran down to meet him.

Tango sat on the floor, wrapping his elytra around his body as much as he could. "Hey Stress? Why was cutting my clothes the best course of action??" His clothes hung around his body loosely, a giant tear running down his back.

Stress stifled a laugh, snorting. "I- I'm sorry love! But you- you were stuck and-" She exploded in a fit of giggles.

"Ha ha, very funny. Do you have a solution?"

"Ah, I suppose I didn't fink of that... Oh! Wait 'ere!" Stress flew off to another room of the castle, leaving Tango to sit in the corner of the large room, shivering. The stone wall on his bare back was freezing.

"Got it! You can wear this until you get home!" Stress ran into the room, holding up the same outfit she was wearing with a wide grin.

Tango couldn't come up with anything to say.

"Close your mouth love, you're gonna drool. Change fast, and then we can run to your place." Stress tossed the clothes to him and trotted out, shooing a couple chickens on the way.

Tango sat staring at the shorts for a long time before he pulled them on. They were too tight and short for his liking, but he had to admit- they made his butt look great.

"Alright, let's get outta here! This sweater's so thin, I dunno how you don't freeze out here."

Stress stared wide-eyed, and exploded in laughter. "YOU- You look- You look delightful!" She wiped a tear.

"Alright, let's go."

As they soared over the shopping district, Stress cried out. "Tango, we need to land!!"

Tango, immediately worried, dipped down and landed. "Are you alright?"

"Oh yeah I'm fine!" Stress landed next to him. "I just remembered I needed to buy some rockets!" She ran into the rocket shop, pulling out some diamonds.

"Streeeeesss..." Tango groaned. "I own the rocket shop, I can lend you some!"

As if on cue, Iskall appeared around the corner. "TANGO??" He giggled and smirked as Tango's face fell.

"Dangit!" Tango groaned, laughing. He ran into the rocket shop and dragged Stress out. "We're leaving."

"Hate to see you go, but love to see you walk away!~" Iskall whistled.

"Bye Iskall!" Tango took to the sky quickly, hiding his smile. Iskall was hilarious, even if Tango didn't want to deal with him right now.

"He's right, you know! You look really good like this." Stress complimented as they spiraled into Tango's ravine.

"I know, I look good in everything. But, maybe I'll find something more similar to my tastes next time."

"Tell me when you go shopping, it can be a date!" Stress hugged him.

"Yeah, well, let's not have a repeat of today!" Tango laughed. "Thanks for your help, I'll return your clothes once I wash them."

"Keep them. For the lols." Stress winked and flew off.


End file.
